Laid Off From Work

Getting laid off from work is one of the worst nightmare. My heart ache, I feel like I can’t go on…bills on the table need to be paid off…it is very frustrating. Now I start to hate the mail man and wish a dog can chase him off so I won’t see that mail full of bills on my table! Its kind of funny especially when I'm feared to open the mail and see the numbers that has a $ sign to it (my worst enemy)! Sometime I felt like pulling my hair out especially seeing the numbers in my saving going down.

I have been working for 6 years and now laid off! I use to work at a Craft company and was hired on to be a manager. Lots of customer service, training, and lots of public advertisement since my project is handmade. Then I held another position as a C.N.A for 3yrs. Each paycheck I cashed it for my parent to save them. I help them and support them hoping to better their life. I have personal savings with my fiance as well and these are the savings we both save to support our children some day.

Well, after losing both of my job I turn to my family and they turn me down. I was very upset and very heart wrecking because I expect help from them since I too help them. I mean if I didn’t have any problem, I wouldn’t asked for their help as I can help myself, but now I’m in trouble, I expect them to help me in some way. But I was wrong. I learned that they cherish my money and when I fall, they turn their back on me.

I moved out to live with my fiance. We both live in a condo together and we decided to cash half of our savings to help ease financial issue a little. Now our bank account is getting lower and lower. After all of our savings, we are only left with couples of thousands. My fiance hold 2 job and he still working, but I’m still depress because I hate to see my fiance working really hard as I sitting laid back at home doing nothing. When he’s home, I make sure he have food on the table and his clothe iron for tomorrow work.

While he’s out to work, I search and search for work but I found nothing. I submit my application and found out that the workers there threw my application in the bin. I was very upset. I became hopeless of finding a job and trust me, it will take many years to hold a position in these kind of economy. One time I was called for a job interview, I walked in a woman judge me already. She asked me what is my nationality, and I said Cambodian. Then she said that I don't look like I can be trained and doesn't look smart enough. I asked her for what reason she say that? And she sat there looking at me. She just say...your not good enough. I asked her, am I in an interview or a process of judgmental. If I am not serious as I look, I wouldn't I waste my time coming here sitting with you hoping to pass this interview. Therefore, mam, I'd like to excuse myself. I snatch my resume out of her hand and walked away. My friend who worked there asked what happen? I told her, I'm not a bag of dirt where people can kick anytime they want! If you want me to work for your company, respect me!

I drove off from the facility and drag my car off the road. My parent heard about it and yelled at me and call me stupid. I guess you can say that, but I'm different. I don't let people judge me before even knowing me because I am not weak. I like to work for people who test trained me first and judge me last. For the minute after an argument, I was screwed up with their words and got tired of their complaint. You can call me mean, but I asked them to go out and sale lemonade and see how long it will take to make a dollar and people spitting at your face. Rude but something for them to think about.

They brought so much tears to my eyes. I have been pressured enough after losing a job and they add more pressure to me that my heart sink. Sometime I wish I’m dead and reborn to a better life. But even though, I know I won’t escape from pain in either way.

Finding a job is not easy and holding it is not easy either but getting fired and getting laid off is easy in a second! For those who still hold a job, your lucky and keep doing as much as you can because living life without job, is hard! Life is different without a job!